wessam hazaymeh

The week after graduation I felt low. I dismissed it for calming down from the high of graduation and passing through one of the most important milestones in my life. It was days of overthinking and being angry with myself as to how and why I have let myself be an overachiever who doesn’t achieve anything. 

The promises of a successful life were slowly slipping out of my sight. 

A few days before a big move, I met with a friend and mentor. We talked about everything from friendships to post-grad plans. Then came the topic of post-grad depression. It was everything I felt. 

I finally put a word to the worry that I hadn’t earned my degree, that there was a part of my goals I dismissed, and that I wasn’t happy with forcing myself to fill my days with things to do just so I didn’t sit in a daze all day. 

After this conversation with my friend, I realized what it was I faced — post-grad depression. The reality is, though, I am not the only one who is struggling with this. I wish I was prepared for the overwhelming emotions that would hit me and the tears because I was afraid the late nights and stress would have been for nothing. 

As I try to navigate this next step and try to let go of the hold university life has on me. I am realizing I need to start from the bottom and build up. I am not dismissing the achievements of my college career but I am realizing I can’t keep holding onto them. 

The point of this is to say I am slowly learning to stretch beyond the comfort of college and embrace all of the discomforts that come with this new phase. I am starting to reshape the promises I make to myself and what a successful life looks like.